Whether you are male or female, admitting you experience sexual dysfunction can be difficult for many reasons. But seeking help and support is the first step to overcoming the problem.
Once you have tackled the first hurdle of accepting help, getting the right support should improve your sex life. Sexual dysfunction is more common than you may think, and finding out more about your symptoms and realising you are not alone in your experiences can be comforting and reassuring.
Professional help
It is important you try and speak to a healthcare professional about sexual dysfunction. Let your doctor or diabetes specialist nurse know how you are feeling.
Recognition of sexual dysfunction is increasing and there are now more professionals who can help and more treatments available – some of which are available through the NHS.
Finding the cause and the right treatment for sexual dysfunction can be complicated, however the right advice can help people adjust to physical changes and explore different ways of regaining a fulfilling sex life.
If you are anxious, embarrassed or don’t know what to say, write down what you need to express and take it with you. This can help both the healthcare professional and you to get the consultation under way.
Your doctor will be able to refer you, if necessary, to a sexual and relationship therapist. It is quite appropriate to discuss any sexual problems you may be having at your annual review for your diabetes – you should consider it part of your review.
It is important that your doctor knows about any sexual dysfunction, as it can be a symptom of heart disease due to damage to your large blood vessels.
If you are already being treated for heart disease, the medication you are taking and your level of health will influence diagnosis and treatment of sexual dysfunction, therefore the decision about which treatment to use should be made by you and your doctor or diabetes specialist nurse.
Your partner
If you have a partner and you are experiencing sexual dysfunction, it is essential you try to discuss this issue with them.
Talking openly is a key part of helping to solve the problem, as it breaks down barriers and helps you understand each other’s sexual and emotional needs.
Although discussing sexual dysfunction can be very difficult, not discussing it can make the problem worse. It’s also a good idea to encourage your partner to be involved in your treatment, for example, by accompanying you on your clinic appointment.
Check out your lifestyle
- Cut down on alcohol - remember the term ‘Brewer’s droop’? It is true.
- Give up smoking - nicotine stops the blood flow to the area of the penis associated with erections.
- Exercise regularly and eat healthily - this will improve your blood glucose control and your general feelings of well being.
Make time to relax
Make time to relax and have fun, both alone and also as a couple. Remember that stress plays an important part in ED. Finally, take time to enjoy being sensual as a couple. Make time for a relaxing massage together, for example, without any expectations of sex.
Coping strategies
It is also important to develop your own coping strategies to help you function despite feeling the psychological impact of sexual problems.
If possible, take a break from stressful life events to recharge. If necessary, ask for a bit of support from family, friends or employers. If you continue to feel low and pressured for more than two weeks, it is vital you speak to your healthcare professional or diabetes team.
When it comes to your diabetes management, have realistic expectations about what you can achieve. For example, if you want to be more active but hate gyms, don't join a gym. Find other ways of increasing your activity levels, for example walking, rather than driving or taking public transport.
Take a good look at how you've managed change in the past. Are you good at caring for other people's needs but have great difficulty acknowledging your own? In an average week, how much time is devoted to just you and your needs. If you don't have at least a few hours, not including sleep, for yourself, perhaps you cope and care for others but forget about yourself.
Just as a poor diet and very little physical activity are bad for your diabetes management, they can also contribute to negative feelings or depression. Eating healthily (but not restrictively or rigidly) and using more energy can help lift mild depression.
Relaxation techniques, such as yoga or T'ai Chi, or even attending evening classes, can also be of benefit.
Reviewed November 2009