It had been 3 months now and i just couldn't stick it, sleeping at every opportunity I could get and waking up feeling like no sleep had been gained at all. Moving from class to class with my heavy school bag on my back felt like climbing a mountain.
The thing I remember the most, was finding it imposssible to do simple things like sit up straight in my chair and keep eye contact with the board and teacher in order to learn.
My body was acting like a brick wall, I had no contol and all this information and even conversations my friends made with me were just rebouncing of me, I wasn't connected to the same world.
Also, I felt very irritable at really stupid things and later on found out how that my mood was always so negative. I yawned yawned and yawned, which after a few months of this constantly, I was sick of it!
Working three times more than usual
My body ached, my reactions were too slow and that really frustrated me. I am a hard-working person outside and inside of school and to achieve what I normally did, I was working three times more than usual. I hadn't a clue at this point and just thought with my sports and other activities along with school were too much.
During the night, without even realising, I became used to the idea that any ordinary person would have to get up at least four times during the night to go to the toilet, as I did.
The race is on
Thinking back, it's funny to recall my way of thinking.
One night I was going to a race with my club and it was 1500m. It was a brilliant sports track that I had raced on a few times before so it was familiar, although the pressure was always greatly felt. Everyone took these track races fairly seriously.
My trainer always had great faith in me from the moment I joined the club and that was why I done them, for him. I hate the overall feeling of the before nerves. So it began and halfway through I tried to ignore it but my body took over. I just fell, no matter how hard I tried I just was physically exhausted. Lying there I felt paralysed which upset me.
I couldn't hold it in anymore, I just broke down which even surprised me as I am a deep person that prefers to hide a lot of things, keep it all in and I don't like bothering people. Despite this, I got up and finished the race. My coach comforted me saying these races are for experience and everybody has bad races and it's part of the package. They hadn't a clue really what was happening to me, although neither did I.
Seeing the doctor
Feeling gutted, I begged my mum to bring me to the doctors the next day. It was only then that was the first time she became worried. Getting down from my bunkbed that I shared with my twin, my top got caught were I seen my stomach and this was the very first physical difference I noticed. I knew that I'd lost a lot of weight.
My mum got an early appointment and told me not to put on my uniform as she had a feeling that I wouldn't be going into school at all today. I felt that sick I was convinced that they would just send me home as they do most times I go to the doctors.
The doctor's first words were I think I know what is wrong with you. I handed in a urine sample. A quick ketones test was made and my weight was taken then his eyes bulged. He stopped what he was doing and said to me, you're 4½ stone and then turned to my mum and said, I think she has type 1 diabetes, where he explained what it was.
Straight to hospital
I hadn't a clue what diabetes was and had never heard of it before. This puzzled me but I didn't feel anxious. I was told to go straight to the hospital and not go home even for a while. My mum started to panic and she was told to arrange pj's etc to be sent to me. Am I sleeping over night?
I waited for three hours in the waiting room feeling like everyone was constantly staring. I fell asleep until my mum woke me up as my name had been called. After many tests, I had been diagnosed. I finally felt relieved although I was sent home and that was that.
Petrified of needles
My doctor was shocked to hear I wasn't kept in over night but the next morning a meeting with my diabetic nurse was made and after a few days I was sorted out medication-wise. This was the hardest step as I was petrified of needles.
I was determined to get better. I'd had enough! I have been through a lot of rough patches since I was diagnosed, up and down a few times, but now I'm on a good path and intend to keep it that way. It's hard work but so worth it! Keep at it, keep at it, keep at it, along with a bit of PMA (positvie mental attitude) and your life can be as normal as physically possible.
Hope you read and understood my story. Thank you for your attention !! :'D take care :--) xxx
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