I have had diabetes for five years and I have always found it hard to give up my love of sweet things but when I was younger it was easier to control my urge to eat sweets. I know you're probably thinking it would be harder as a younger child but it's not.
As I got older and was given a little more freedom to do things that I wanted, like go out with friends, it seemed like there were temptations everywhere and they were hard to avoid. It got to a point where I forgot about my diabetes to a certaint extent and started living my life how I wanted. I ate what I liked, when I liked.
As I was going back to the hospital for my three month check up my blood suger average was getting higher; round about 10 and sometimes 11. The doctors kept telling me that it was damaging me although I coudn't yet see it, but I was stubborn and I wanted to do things my way. It seemed like getting up every morning knowing there were four injections waiting for me was the end of the world and I was the only person with diabetes.
Warning
After a few more appointments with my doctor, and as my averages did not improve, I got a strict warning that:
- It wasnt doing any good to me and
- if it wasn't sorted out I would face troubles in the long run.
I wanted to be a healthy adult but I wanted to be a free teenager. I felt stuck, stuck in a world where know one thought about how I felt and what was running through my mind. But I knew this wasn't true, it was just how I felt.
A thought came over me
That night after my appointment I lay there in bed crying because five years of my life had been taken over by something that would never go away; my diabetes, but a thought came over me. I thought about all the children my age and younger then me that had no life at all, the ones that had life threatening illnesses that couldn't be cured or controlled, children who where actually trapped in a body that will never walk again. I felt selfish and foolish how I'd felt that my life was the worst possible and how I had let myself believe that diabetes was the end of the world. so the next day I really buckled down and ate healthily and I didn't snack on anything I wanted to.
I feel free
As a result of this my blood suger levels are a lot better and so are my averages and guess what? - I feel free! - because I know that I don't have to cut out my favourite sweets forever if I just have them on occasions. I feel better in myself and I am proud of me because I am who I am and, at the end of the day, I have got something that I will have for the rest of my life, so I can either sit and sulk about it or just get on with it because, like I said, there are many children out there that are a lot worse off than me.
So all I am trying to say, to people out there with diabetes who think it's the end of the world, well it's not and it's easier to get on with it than sit in the shadow about it. Good luck to all you newbies. xxx
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