The life I nearly lost

I just want to share my thoughts and experiences so far with my journey of being a Type 1 diabetic.

In 2006 I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. At the age of 36 I found it quite dificult to take in as up until then I did what I wanted in my life food- and drink-wise. 

At first I accepted the condition and controlled my levels well. I then found myself getting quite angry with it, especially when I experienced hypos, and found the whole routine of testing and injecting dreadful.

My anger issues were "Why me, what had I done?"  My social life changed, the people who loved me annoyed me with "Have you tested?", "Have you done your injection?", "Can you eat that?". I wanted to scream at them to stop fussing and leave me alone, when all they were doing was caring and loving me.

I got more and more depressed and spoke to nobody, not even my supportive husband who loves me. Work were unpleasant with me and made me feel that being a diabetic was dirty and an obese person's condition. I started to drink alcohol on a daily basis and my social life and my good control suffered.

I left my job and got another job that I really enjoyed, but unfortunately I was made redundant – this made my depression worse.

I found a new job which to this day I am still employed in.

My experience with my old employer really affected me: I felt very angry and decided to ignore my condition to the point of not testing, and I stopped taking my insulin. My drinking got worse and I was pushing the people that loved and cared for me away. I lied when they asked me about my testing and injecting.

My health then started to deteriorate: I went from a weight of 11 stone to less than eight stone and looked very thin – almost anorexic. Again my husband and family and close friends worried, and I fobbed them off with more lies.

In May 2010 my health took a very serious dip. It started with an ear infection and I went to my GP. The day after I came home from work ill. On the 28 May, a day my husband and I will never forget, my husband found me in our bedroom unconscious and fitting. I was taken by ambulance to the intensive care unit at Wythenshawe hospital. I was in a coma with high sugar levels and high ketones. I was in a coma for 10 days with a less than 30 per cent chance of living. I was unable to breath for myself and started getting serious complications with my kidneys. I also could have been brain-damaged due to a lack of oxygen.

My husband and immediate family were taken to a relatives' room and told to brace themselves over that Bank Holiday weekend, as I might not pull through. Ten days later the intensive care doctors decided to try and bring me out of the coma, which they did.

I spent another week in intensive care on a dialysis machine for my kidneys and I had to have physio to gain strengh in my arms and legs and learn to walk again.

This came as a massive shock and wake-up call to me. I had been so deceitful to my loved ones who were at my bedside day and night throughout this trauma. I can never repay them for their unconditional love and the support they gave me and still do to this day.

Once I was stable I was moved to a ward and was there for another two weeks. I was on a strict renal diet to help my kidneys and was given lots of fluids. I was sent for a scan on my kidneys and was told I might lose my right kidney. I was devastated. I had many visits from the diabetic nurses and doctors who showed me care and support, and made me realise that I can live with diabetes. The knowledge and care they gave me was immense.

After missing my thirty-ninth birthday and knowing I could have died and left behind a heart-broken husband, step-daughter, family and friends, I realised I needed to face my fears head on.

I listened to my diabetic team, wrote in my notepad all the things on my mind and questions – no matter how silly they seemed – regarding diabetes. I craved knowledge and got more determined and stronger.

Due to the dedication of the diabetic team at Wythenshawe, the support of my husband, friends and family I have got mentally stronger over my diabetes, and know that it's not my fault or dirty, that I can have a life and be happy. I left hospital after the renal team confirmed my right kidney was no longer at risk as long as I stopped drinking alcohol and controlled my diabetes.

I have spent the last three months at home getting better and stronger. I no longer drink due to a support group I attend. I go to all my diabetic and doctor's appointments. I test my sugar levels four or five times per day and I take my insulin.

I am a very luck lady. I could have done some very serious damage to my health: I could have died, lost my kidney or gone blind. I am dealing now with neuropathy in my feet and have been given medication by my doctor to treat it.

I want to share my story with you all as it's imperative you look after yourself and aren't in denial. Whenever you feel down, share your feelings and fears – don't hide them away. Talk to your team, your partner, your family and friends. Do not let diabetes rule you; it doesn't have to be that way, you can live with it and feel normal again. It's taken me four years, and a near-death experience, to realise this. Don't let this be you.

I now have my sugar levels under control and I write them down in my home monitoring diary daily: any questions I have I ring my team. They are there for you to ask and talk to, it's their job to support you. Don't think you're pestering them. Use the internet for knowledge, and stay positive and happy.

I hope my story helps. Don't ignore the condition – look what nearly happened to me. I still have a lot to learn, as I might not have been here today to write this.

I am no expert. I hope my story inspires anyone with Type 1 or 2 who feels down or frightened to come to terms with diabetes. Feel free to drop me a line if anyone feels down and needs a cheery positive chat. That's what I want to give to people after my trauma.

Words by Dawn