Sometimes it can be hard to relate to your teenager. You might be worried they won’t look after their diabetes as well as you do, which could make them unwell both in the short and long term. If your child has just been diagnosed, your worries could be different: you’ll both be learning about diabetes and you may feel guilty that you don’t know everything in order to help.
But there are no hard or fast rules when it comes to bringing up a teenager with diabetes – regardless of how long they have been diagnosed. Diabetes doesn’t mean your child can’t behave like any other teenager. But there are some extra things to consider. If you want to get this message through, good communication is vital:
Pick your time
There’s no point trying to have a conversation with your teen when one of you is rushing off somewhere. Make sure you’ve got the time to talk about things fully – it’s really hard to stop and start this kind of conversation.
Pick your moods
Trying to talk to your teen about alcohol when you’re cross with them for coming in drunk just isn’t going to work. Wait until you’re calm and can discuss things rationally. Likewise, don’t try and approach your teen when they’re in a mood. They’re not going to be open to discussion or compromise.
Pick your argument
A great tirade about everything your teen’s doing ‘wrong’ is unlikely to make them change. If you’re worried about a lot of aspects of their behaviour, it might be worth discussing the ones you’re most concerned about first, and coming back to others at a later date.
Pick your approach
Sitting your teen down to a face-to-face conversation might be so daunting for them that they clam up and don’t give you honest answers. Try bringing things up gently when you’re doing something together, eg going for a walk or cooking a meal. This can be particularly useful if you’re talking about those embarrassing things like sex and contraception. It can be easier for your teen to open up when they don’t have to look you in the face.
Pick your allies
It might feel hurtful, but sometimes you’re not the best person to talk to your teen. They might feel more comfortable with a favourite aunt, uncle or family friend. If you go for this approach, make sure you’re all clear on what information is shared with who, so you don’t feel left out of the discussion, but your teen doesn’t feel there’s been any ‘tale telling’.
Pick your resources
Make sure you’ve got more information that you can give to your teen, eg if you’re going to talk about sex, have information on contraception handy, or look it up on an appropriate website.