Going on medication
When I was diagnosed, I really blamed myself. When I was pregnant I was concerned about whether my children were going to be okay. It took me a long time to realise that it wasn't actually my fault and that it was something that was out of my control. Being a nurse and having some knowledge was probably quite difficult, because I look after people that have had leg ulcers because of their diabetes or have neuropathy, and even amputations. I’d seen the worst side of diabetes. For the first 12 months, I religiously made myself eat properly. And I did manage to control the diabetes for a little while with just diet.
But then I couldn’t anymore, which was when I started metformin and insulin. I take these twice a day, and sometimes extra as well, because it's not as well-controlled as it should be. I think I've really struggled with feeling like I've done something wrong. Lots of people have said ‘it's not your fault.’ But obviously you don't think that when you get told you've got something wrong with you – you automatically blame yourself.
I’ve been quite surprised at the lack of emotional support from my healthcare team at times. Since I’m a nurse, often the nurses think I must know it all. But looking after yourself is very different to giving advice to a patient.
I think it's quite frightening how easy it is to end up having a hypo. You’re taught about how to deal with it but not about how it's going to feel. It's nice to have that empathy for my patients now.