I’ve always felt there was very little emotional support for people with diabetes. I even wrote to Vaughan Gething, the Minister for Health and Social Services, to ask for his help. I have been diagnosed with mild depression, which stemmed from the problems I’ve had with my eyes, as well as high diabetes distress.  

When the lockdown began, it took me back to the days when I was stuck in the house because of my retinopathy, and was too frightened to go out. Since coronavirus, I can feel my anxiety levels rising every time I go to the shops. I worry about whether people have washed their hands and I’m always aware of how close they are to me. I’m better in larger supermarkets but smaller shops, like the one around the corner from my house, I’ve struggled with more. It’s the same if I go and queue to collect my prescription at the pharmacy.

I’ve found that people can be quite judgemental. If I go to the shops then I’ll go with my husband. One day I heard someone say, “Why does it take two people to shop?” I wanted to turn around and explain that what’s wrong with me you can’t see and there was a reason I wasn’t shopping alone. 

I was also concerned there would be delays to my next eye appointment. I hadn’t been seen since December and was worried I would end up going a year without being checked by the specialist. I was left too long by the hospital before and that’s how my retinopathy started. However, due to the severity of the problems I’ve had with my eyes, I got to see my doctor and there has been no new growth. So that was a relief, as it had really been adding to my anxiety.

Staying emotionally well during the coronavirus pandemic

I was determined that I didn’t want to take 20 steps backwards and return to the place I was in when my retinopathy was bad, so I decided to put things in place to help me manage my anxiety during this stressful time.

I make sure I’m connecting with my family and friends all the time and FaceTime has been a great way to do this. If you know your friend is sat at home with her kids then then there’s no excuse why you can’t give her a call for 10 minutes – you’ve got to keep up that contact. 

Although social media can have its downsides, I follow a lot of type 1 groups and pages, and if you’re struggling you can post something online. If people say something negative they get shot down quickly, and I find there are so many people who will say nice things. I think you need to drill it into your mind that you can’t control what other people post and what their opinions are, so skim past the negative. My wedding was days before lockdown, so I’ve been posting loads of my wedding photos up on Facebook, which should be something nice for people to see on their feeds. 

I’ve been trying to keep active, so I’ve been doing the Joe Wicks workouts every other day. I thought I was a spritely eight year old but I hurt for days afterwards, so I needed to ease in gradually – and I have to be careful with bending because of my eyes. 

I’m married, I have two sons, and I work three days a week in an NHS admin role. I used to get stressed that my gastroparesis would mean having to take time off work. The stress, in turn, affects the gastroparesis. I eventually got to the point where I thought, ‘I’ve got this condition. I didn’t ask for it. There’s nothing I can do about it.’ I just had to accept it! Once I realised that, I stopped getting so stressed. Now, I haven’t had to take sick leave for nearly two years. I know it will flare up, I will end up in hospital every so often, but I just have to ride it out.

Having gastroparesis puts a lot of pressure on your marriage and your life. I’d be throwing up by my husband still had to go to work and I had to get the kids to school. It was hard at the time. My kids are older now, nearly 17 and 19. Now that they can look after themselves, I don’t stress as much. It was harder when they were younger.

As I’m getting older, I think I appreciate life more. I realise my situation might be a bit bad at times, but it’s not the end of the world.

Gastroparesis has been really tough, but having diabetes has never bothered me. Obviously I’d rather not have it, but it’s never affected my mental health. It’s just something that I’ve got and I feel that there are other people out there with worse illnesses than diabetes. My view is that you can’t live like it’s the end of the world. I’ve got diabetes, I just have to suck it up.

Daily life is quite different at the moment. Alongside my wife, we’re currently home schooling our little boy. He’s only five so a lot of it is learning through play. We had tears and tantrums the other day because he lost a game of snakes and ladders!

I’ve been working from home since Boris Johnson’s announcement on 16th March, where he advised people with underlying health conditions to avoid social contact. I told my school’s headteacher that I needed to make the decision to stay at home, which was fully supported. When everything came out about shielding I was unsure as to what I was supposed to be doing, but the school said they don’t expect to see me for the foreseeable future. It was really nice to get that reassurance. I have friends with diabetes who I know are having problems. They’re either being messed around by their employers or not being given the support they need.

I don’t think there has been clear enough guidelines from the government as to what people with diabetes should be doing in terms of employment. This then leaves bosses and companies open to forcing you to make the choice as an individual, which could potentially put your health at risk. Do you say ‘I won’t go to work because I’m worried and I know the right thing to do is stay away from everyone, because of the impact this could have?’ However, people have got mortgages to pay.  

For me, the government should be providing guidance and saying if you suffer with certain underlying health conditions not covered by the shielding letters, you should not be mixing, you should work from home, and then ensuring your employer is doing what they can to support you with this. 

I’m quite worried about going back to work. For me, I don’t know how I could teach sports given the close proximity people would be in. In school changing rooms we have between 30 and 40 students. If you had to keep two metres apart, you would fit eight students in a changing room at once. And what about handling equipment? I’m not sure what sport you can do with a class full of students where it can be safe for them and the staff. 

Adjusting to change

As a head of year, I very much have a pastoral role and now more than ever it’s so important for me to be supporting students and their families. I went through a phase of teaching things like the components of fitness and training, but now parents have said they will use that time to get their kids to do some activity. The students are telling me what they’ve been doing, which is great to hear. Maybe it’s a walk with their family or 20 minutes on their trampoline.

At the moment, it’s all about adapting and the most important thing is for families to keep each other safe, and spend time together. 

I have an amazing network of friends far and wide, and we were all into things like Zoom, Skype and Facetime before coronavirus. I find the weekends tougher, as you can’t really distinguish them from the weekdays, so I make sure I have things lined up, like video chats. 

I think creating a routine helps – set yourself things to do and try and achieve something.  However, I think it’s really important to allow interruptions. So if people want to get in touch, never reject that. Make sure you’re communicating with people wholly and are having as much fun as you can. 

I’ve also been avoiding watching TV all the time. I’ll tune into the news at lunchtime but then turn it off after that. I’ve got a vast collection of music, so I’ve been sticking some tunes on instead and bopping along – especially when I’m cooking. It lifts my spirits, even if I’m not as good a singer as I used to be.

I would normally attend a spiritual session every two weeks but because of the lockdown, the sessions are now taking place on Zoom, so I’ve joined remotely. While it isn’t quite the same, it’s still been really nice to see everyone and chat.

I think something else that has really helped me is not watching the news all the time, as it can feel quite depressing. Instead I’ve been tuning in for an update once a day. As an alternative I’ve started binge watching an Indian spiritual series on YouTube. My family are sick of me watching it but they still want to know what’s happening all the time, so I think they’re secretly enjoying it.

I’m just trying not to worry too much. I think it’s a case of taking precautions and following the government guidelines, as well as doing my very best to look after my health.